Understanding the Question… Who am I?
Who I am? A question everyone at some point will ask themselves, certainly a question many organisations, religions and self help guru’s have attempted to provide an answer to on your behalf. Who you are is your Self Identity, the way you look at yourself and your relationship to the world. Understanding this, allows you to examine who you are and more importantly create who you want to be.
When trying to understand your sexuality, you may experience many feelings such as isolation, shame and fear of rejection. Confusion about your sexual orientation can lead to personal struggle in developing a strong sense of self. You may also be overwhelmed with anxiety about what you and others believe is socially appropriate.
Even openly gay people can experience difficulty with unconscious issues about their sexuality that interfere with them having a successful same-sex relationship.
Speaking to a psychologist who understands sexuality issues and self identity can help you find peace of mind in defining and accepting your sexuality.
Your sexuality relates to who you are as a sexual being, your feelings about sex and how you express them. You are always a sexual being regardless of when, how and with whom you choose to express it. Sexuality is life-long, it doesn’t just turn on and off.
Your sexual identity means the way in which you refer to yourself as heterosexual, lesbian, gay, or bisexual. Your sexual identity can also be different in public than in private. For example, if you are gay, you may feel confident and supported to declare this identity among friends, but publicly feel pressured to identify as heterosexual.
Sexual orientation means who you are attracted to (men only, women only, or men and women).
How Counselling Can Help?
Understanding your sexuality is a gradual process and with your psychologist, you can analyse what you are thinking, what you are feeling and why this is so.
Counselling can assist you in finding clarity about your sexuality and accepting the possibility of being gay. Learning to accept yourself for who you are will enable you to start letting go of societal pressures and family expectations.
A psychologist can also offer support in your decision making process around issues such as coming out and building healthy romantic relationships.
Alegna Solutions psychologists provide help in this area and are specialised to manage individual and couples counselling for the gay community.