When people find out their spouse has cheated on them one of the hardest questions to ask is Why? The ‘why’ someone has cheated can make you feel vulnerable and sometimes the questions that it is easier to ask is ‘Who’, ‘When’ and ‘Where’. The Why of an affair is something that will be asked long after the relationship or affair has ended.
As with all things that come down to human behaviour, it’s different for every person. There is no one rule as to why someone cheats as it’s usually down to individual circumstances. We can’t even say that women are more likely to cheat than men, as that is not the case. What we do see is women are more likely to try and cover up any infidelity, for fear of losing children, friendships, home and financial security.
Some of the reasons why people cheat can include:
- Lack of a sexual relationship
When people cheat is often spontaneous and not pre-empted. Generally people in long term committed relationships don’t intentionally set out to cheat on their spouses, however situations arise and before they know it they are in the middle of an affair.
A reassuring fact is that a lot of relationships do recover from infidelity and often, as a result develop closer, stronger relationships. However if you have experienced a serial cheater, then the problems can lay deeper and need to be addressed.
If you have been cheated on, there are 2 options. You work through it together or alone. Individual circumstances will govern this and there is no right or wrong way of dealing with infidelity.
As with everything though, prevention is better than cure and you need to take responsibility for your relationships. Having a relationship strategy in place may sound a little left of centre, however your relationship is an investment and you will only get out what you put in.
Couples counselling and relationship counselling is not only for those of you who have experienced infidelity within your relationship. It’s also important when you’re experiencing general problems that people in relationships often do.
Through choosing to address your issues, you are able to present your problems to a mutual non judgmental 3rd party. That person can then coach you through your challenges and provide you with support and tools to build your relationship and make it stronger moving forward.
The reasons why people cheat will always vary as will the circumstances that accompany it. Choosing to get support and help in your relationships does not mean your relationship is weak, it simply provides you the opportunity to make your relationship strong and solid.
If you have experienced infidelity or are interested in finding out more about our relationship counselling services please contact us today and find out how we can help.