Perspective

Coping with the Sudden Death of a Loved One

After experiencing the sudden death of a loved one, it can seem impossible to feel remotely human during the grieving process. Grief impacts every facet of one’s personal life; including your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours, physical and mental health. It can feel as though there is a storm raging around you no one else is affected by. Rest assured you’re not alone. Everyone’s experience with grief is unique; it is a process, not an event. Although it seems cliché, everyone does grieve differently. Your unique experience depends on many factors, including: Your relationship with the deceased Your spiritual beliefs Cultural practices Level of support from family and friends, and; Associated stressors i.e. financial hardship, relationship breakdown, etc. When impacted by the sudden death of a loved one, it is important to remember there is no right or wrong way to grieve. You may react in any number of ways, including anger, feeling anxious, panic, change in beliefs, depression, sleep disturbances and inability to cope, among others. While reactions to grief are unique to the individual, grieving styles tend to fall into two broad styles. Your ‘grief style’ depends on your personality; however, many people experience a combination of both. INTUITIVE: The grieving person concentrates on the emotional aspects of their loss and seeks out social support to process their feelings INSTRUMENTAL: The grieving person focuses on the cognitive aspects of their loss. Grief manifests itself by dealing with the practical issues surrounding the loss i.e. handling funeral arrangements, legal issues, etc. Instrumental is a solitary style of grief in which the individual processes his or her feelings alone. While in the throes of grief, it may seem impossible to cope. The truth is, there are […]

Spirituality – How Faith Helps you cope with Adversity

At some time, we will all face adversity, so why is it that some fall apart while others seem to flourish amid difficult circumstances? The answer is faith. Far beyond a tradition you observe, faith is the cornerstone of your life, a framework that guides your every action. Therefore, when facing adversity, faith can bring you through it intact. So, what is it about faith that changes both your outlook on and the outcome of your circumstances? Read on to find out. Stress is something everyone is familiar with. Stress is that unwelcome visitor which wreaks havoc on your body, mind and spirit. Without appropriate coping mechanisms, stress causes physical (stomach pain, headaches, nausea, etc.) and psychological (anxiety, fear, panic, etc.) harm. Although you can’t always control our physical circumstances, faith provides reassurance that you aren’t going through life alone. Faith is a spiritual foundation through which your perspective toward life forms. It urges you to look beyond your immediate existence for your true purpose and how you may serve the world with it. On a practical level, faith gives you something to rely on in trying times. It is the single constant in a life that can seem unpredictable. Whichever form your faith takes, mounting evidence suggests that people with a spiritual side are better equipped to cope with stress. Through direct and indirect influence, faith can help you cope with illness and devastation in a productive manner. Meaning and Purpose – “Everything happens for a reason.” While it may seem cliché, it often proves true for those with faith. An entrenched belief system ensures you are better able to understand the complex issues of life and your purpose in it and extends to […]

By |Tuesday, April 7, 2015|General| Comments

Anger Management

Anger is an intense emotional response experienced when personal boundaries are violated. Renowned anger management writer William DeFoore describes anger as a “pressure cooker” which pressure can only be applied against briefly before it explodes. The most common manifestation of anger is in facial expressions and body language however it also has behavioural and cognitive components. However, these behaviours are entirely under an individual’s control. By applying the following tips, you will learn how to manage your anger, so the situation does not escalate.   Think before you speak: Although it is easy to say and much harder to do, this is one of the best ways to avoid a meltdown. During an argument, we often say things we do not mean and later regret. By thinking before you speak, you can articulate your feelings more effectively and often get the required results.   Once calm, express your feelings: When you’re thinking clearly, express your needs and frustration in a productive and assertive way. Explain your concerns to the other party without hurting their feelings or trying to manipulate them. Expressing your feelings promotes open discussion, allowing all involved to have their feelings heard.   Take a timeout: Timeouts can be just as useful for adults as kids. Taking short breaks during stressful times of day will keep you calm and focused. A few moments of quiet reflection will help organise your thoughts, ensuring you are less likely to feel angry or frustrated.   Identify possible solutions: Rather than concentrating on what made you upset, try to solve the issue at hand. In other words, by locating and dealing with the source of the problem, it will no longer be a source of angst for […]

By |Tuesday, March 24, 2015|General| Comments

Recalibrate your life

You know that feeling of wanting to bash your head against the wall at work? It’s a feeling that we all experience from time to time. A problem arises; a solution is argued over and eventually found and then you move on. Only, what if you cannot find a solution? What if you become bogged down in the same arguments going round and round, and you are no further from moving forward.   Outside of work, if an issue were preventing you from living your life then you would consider seeing a counsellor to help you re-evaluate, and gain a new perspective. Inside the world of work, you can do the same thing. You can recalibrate your life.   What is recalibration? Recalibration is the process of getting you to understand that there are many different points of view. If you are stuck in a routine, you only ever see enough to get through the day. Recalibration is about getting you to recognise your limitations and acknowledging that there are different interpretations of the same reality. It is not a simple thing to acquire, and you cannot achieve it instantly, but there are exercises you can do to train your brain.   Firstly, remember the saying ‘Look before you leap’? Take a moment before you react to something. If you are in an argument or discussion then actively wait before you respond. It is not just about stopping you from saying something in the heat of the moment, but waiting for what that person has said to sink in before you react.   Secondly, reassess the way you respond to mundane every-day situations. For example, the next time someone irritates you, think about why they […]