mental illness; addiction; confidence

How to deal with narcissism

Whether it’s a co-worker, friend and family member, almost everyone knows someone with a narcissistic personality. Those with a narcissistic personality have an elevated sense of self-importance. They have a sense that they are in charge (at work and home), believe their ‘uniqueness’ can only be understood by a select few, and can require excessive admiration.   For those who work or live with the narcissist, life can become so complicated; you wish the narcissist would just “quit it”. Unfortunately, that’s not an option. As hard as it is to hear, narcissism is something to be dealt with – not necessarily something that can be overcome.   The good news is armed with the right strategies; you can learn to co-exist with the narcissist(s) in your life.   Lower Your Expectations – As you’ll never receive total emotional nurturing in a narcissistic relationship, ensure you keep your expectations realistic. When you’re with them, try to magnify their good qualities, while understanding they are somewhat emotionally limited. Accepting this truth will help you stop asking for something your family member, spouse or co-worker is unable to give (e.g. unconditional love, emotional support, etc.).   Strategise Your Needs – Due to a lack of empathy, narcissists have a lot of troubles focusing on the needs of others – even loved ones. So, ensure you don’t bother them with every little issue that crops up. When you need them to do something for you, ask for their help. To achieve a good result, ask for assistance in areas they are interested or gifted in.   Never Make Your Self-Worth Dependent on Them – Whatever you do, don’t get caught in the trap of trying to please a narcissist. […]

Midyear Review and Evaluation

  It’s the middle of the year and time for a mid-year review. We spend time reviewing our finances and businesses at this time of year, with the end of the Australian financial year. However, it should also be a time for you to review your health and well being.   Are you where you want to be? Is your health the best it can be? For many of us, we go through the days, weeks and years on auto pilot without taking the time to stop and evaluate. Well, we’re advising that you do, and here are some tools to help ensure you are well-rested and relaxed.   SLEEP Getting a good night’s sleep can cure all kinds of issues so is a definite must. Take note that a satisfying sleep is not about how long you spend in bed, but rather about the quality of sleep that you get.   AVOID STRESS It sounds obvious, but try to avoid anything that causes you stress. For instance, if you have a long to do list, then go through one thing at a time. If somebody adds to your ‘list’, then let them know you will help as soon as you are done. Remember, you can never please everybody, and trying to do so will only put undue stress and pressure on yourself. If it can’t be avoided, practice delegation that will help relieve you of some stress, and also ensure the job gets done.   REST Third, be sure to rest your brain now and then. The human brain can only process so much information at any given time, and when overloaded, it tends to decrease in function.   Mental exhaustion is common in […]

By |Thursday, July 2, 2015|General, Wellness| Comments

Depresion and Suicidal – How are they linked?

Depression and Suicidal Tendencies   The recent death of actor and comedian Robin Williams has put the spotlight back onto one of the world’s most fatal mental illnesses – depression. It’s sad to think that the comedian, who made audiences laugh until they cry, has now brought them tears of sorrow. More unfortunate though, was the fact that while he made those who were watching him truly happy, the comedian didn’t quite feel the same. He openly struggled with depression and was clearly not coping as well as everyone thought.   Depression: The Bigger Picture At present, depression is a growing global problem, as millions and millions of people from every corner of the world suffer in their everyday lives. Depression on its own is quite concerning enough, but it’s the results that can occur if not managed correctly.   Some people who suffer various degrees of depression can exhibit signs of excessive weight gain or weight loss due to poor diet, while others resort to drug and alcohol abuse. More frightening though, is that they develop suicidal tendencies that forces them to take their own lives, such as in the case of the said comedian.   Depression: The Lead Role Although depression is not the sole motivation for suicidal tendencies, it is definitely one of the most influencing factors that lead to it. Many studies have found time and again that suicidal tendencies are very high among the depressed people. These can include students who constantly fail academically, employees who lose their jobs, entrepreneurs who can’t get their business back on track, and many others. The one thing they all hold in common is they have hope that one day life will become better. […]

By |Wednesday, September 10, 2014|Anxiety, Counselling, Depression| Comments

Repressed Memory

Repression is a concept that is regularly argued within the psychology world. Whilst most psychologists believe this condition exists, the scientists have other thoughts.   The concept around repressed memory is that something shocking happens, and the mind pushes it into your unconscious as a way of coping. It can remain there for years or even decades and one day the memory can emerge into consciousness and be triggered by various elements or situations.   Commonly repression can happen when childhood trauma occurs such as sexual abuse that allegedly has been repressed for decades, until recovered in therapy. Following the discovery of repressed memory, can come Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.   As adults, we would rather forget traumatic experiences, and whilst we can forget the small details, we still retain the emotions that come with those types of experiences. As a child though, it’s natural to store fragmented memories of events. Many psychotherapists also believe that a high level of all psychological disorders is due to repressed memories of childhood events, trauma and abuse.   Repressed memory is also commonly known as Memory Blanks. People can experience memory blanks of a year or several years during childhood. Now before we jump to conclusions, just because someone doesn’t remember every single detail about their childhood, this doesn’t necessarily mean they are experiencing memory blanks or repression. However, if you are also experiencing problem relationships, sexual dysfunction, panic attacks, phobias, suicide attempts or other issues around self-worth then it’s probably worth having a chat with someone.   Your memory is a funny instrument and works differently to organs that are physical such as the brain. A persons memory has been described in the past as a filing […]

Rescuer Mentality

  One of the things that we learn in childhood is to be always helpful to others. This can be at home by helping with chores and taking care of our siblings through to sharing our toys and possessions with others.   Even as we grow older we are encouraged to continue with this behaviour by considering the needs of others. However when does becoming the life-saver or rescuer become too much?   The Dangers of Being a Hero Some people take it upon themselves to become the person that is always there for others. At first glance there seems to be nothing wrong with this, however there are instances when the individual assumes the rescuer mentality and fails to let it go. This then results in numerous problems for that individual.   Firstly they learn how to thrive through the approval of other people. These ‘heroes’ are people who often have low self-confidence and believe what they have to offer isn’t good enough for others. This then leads them to thinking that doing something heroic is the only way that they can be accepted by the person they are helping or by the society as a whole.   In addition to the above, ‘heroes’ can often develop the idea that the one they are saving is a weak person and that person is unable thrive without their help. This can lead to the assumption that they will always be needed and when the bubble bursts, it leaves the ‘hero’ feeling very lost and confused.   Burnout is common in ‘heroes’ as their role becomes a chore. They begin investing their time, money and effort into doing the right thing. As a result they end […]

By |Tuesday, July 15, 2014|Anxiety, General| Comments