Happiness

Lifestyle Management and Chasing the Dream

Lifestyle Management and Chasing the Dream   Chasing after your dreams is often easier said than done, especially for the majority of people. It’s easy to have a dream or a goal in life – but grabbing it and making it happen, now that’s a different story. Why is this so? Well, the reasons are varied, and two of the most common are detailed below.   Self-comparison Kills Your Dreams It may sound a bit overrated, but it is true – comparing yourself to other people can greatly harm your chances of achieving your dreams and aspirations. For one, when you compare yourself to a more successful person, you end up feeling sorry for yourself, and start to wallow in self-pity. In such a case, you spend time worrying about what you are doing wrong or what qualities and values you lack. You spend so much time worrying that you aren’t getting any actual work done – and thus be one step closer to your dreams.   By comparing yourself to other people, you are blinded by your weaknesses and forget to see and appreciate your strengths. You see yourself as incapable and forget about or ignore your past accomplishments.   Self-comparison, when done right, can be a powerful source of motivation, but otherwise, it can be incapacitating.   Going for the Wrong Dreams We all dream of different things. From big houses and flashy cars through to successful careers and businesses. The dream of being financially free applies to many people. By focusing on the material objects, we end up being materialistic and make it difficult on ourselves to achieve these dreams.   When we set our goals and dreams into these material things, […]

Repressed Memory

Repression is a concept that is regularly argued within the psychology world. Whilst most psychologists believe this condition exists, the scientists have other thoughts.   The concept around repressed memory is that something shocking happens, and the mind pushes it into your unconscious as a way of coping. It can remain there for years or even decades and one day the memory can emerge into consciousness and be triggered by various elements or situations.   Commonly repression can happen when childhood trauma occurs such as sexual abuse that allegedly has been repressed for decades, until recovered in therapy. Following the discovery of repressed memory, can come Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.   As adults, we would rather forget traumatic experiences, and whilst we can forget the small details, we still retain the emotions that come with those types of experiences. As a child though, it’s natural to store fragmented memories of events. Many psychotherapists also believe that a high level of all psychological disorders is due to repressed memories of childhood events, trauma and abuse.   Repressed memory is also commonly known as Memory Blanks. People can experience memory blanks of a year or several years during childhood. Now before we jump to conclusions, just because someone doesn’t remember every single detail about their childhood, this doesn’t necessarily mean they are experiencing memory blanks or repression. However, if you are also experiencing problem relationships, sexual dysfunction, panic attacks, phobias, suicide attempts or other issues around self-worth then it’s probably worth having a chat with someone.   Your memory is a funny instrument and works differently to organs that are physical such as the brain. A persons memory has been described in the past as a filing […]

Why do people cheat?

  When people find out their spouse has cheated on them one of the hardest questions to ask is Why? The ‘why’ someone has cheated can make you feel vulnerable and sometimes the questions that it is easier to ask is ‘Who’, ‘When’ and ‘Where’. The Why of an affair is something that will be asked long after the relationship or affair has ended. As with all things that come down to human behaviour, it’s different for every person. There is no one rule as to why someone cheats as it’s usually down to individual circumstances. We can’t even say that women are more likely to cheat than men, as that is not the case. What we do see is women are more likely to try and cover up any infidelity, for fear of losing children, friendships, home and financial security. Some of the reasons why people cheat can include: Unhappiness Lack of a sexual relationship Opportunity Boredom Ego Loneliness When people cheat is often spontaneous and not pre-empted. Generally people in long term committed relationships don’t intentionally set out to cheat on their spouses, however situations arise and before they know it they are in the middle of an affair. A reassuring fact is that a lot of relationships do recover from infidelity and often, as a result develop closer, stronger relationships. However if you have experienced a serial cheater, then the problems can lay deeper and need to be addressed. If you have been cheated on, there are 2 options. You work through it together or alone. Individual circumstances will govern this and there is no right or wrong way of dealing with infidelity. As with everything though, prevention is better than cure […]

By |Friday, July 25, 2014|Relationships| Comments

Disease to Please – Trying to make everybody happy

The majority of us highly value our connections with the people around us, such as family, friends, colleagues, superiors and even new acquaintances. In order to maintain those connections, we often feel the need to please them, as if their happiness depended on us and our actions.   There is nothing wrong with the idea of making everyone we know happy, aside from the fact it’s impossible and unrealistic! Unfortunately some people take this too far and develop people pleasing habits which can become a gripping disease that begins to take over lives.   What is the Disease to Please? Simply put, the disease to please makes us want to please all the people around us. It is driven by a need of approval – mistakenly thinking that the only way we can make others happy is by giving into their whims, requests and demands. It starts off with a sincere wish to be nice and helpful to others, developing into a habit of saying ‘yes’ even though we want to say ‘no’.   It may seem like a simple enough problem to deal with but that is not always the case. In our quest to give joy to others, we end up neglecting ourselves holding onto approvals and validation. However what happens when the string of approvals we value, disappear?   The Dangers of Being a People-Pleaser The disease to please is one that affects us an entire person – from our emotional, mental, and even physical well-being.   When we aim to please someone we are willing to sacrifice all we have in exchange for a nod and a smile of approval. We put others first before ourselves which is not healthy long […]

By |Thursday, June 26, 2014|Anxiety, General, Happiness| Comments

Seasonal Affective Disorder and the Effects

What is Seasonal Affective Disorder? Mood disorders can arise in various forms, and one of these forms is Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). What distinguishes SAD from other similar disorders is that SAD occurs around the same time every year. In general, this disorder usually occurs in the early days of autumn and lasts until the late days of winter which are usually the bleakest and coldest months of the year, which is where the name comes from.   What causes SAD? Despite countless studies, the major reason as to why people experience SAD is still undecided. However various doctors and researchers lean towards the idea that SAD is caused by factors relating to light. During the autumn and winter season, the body experiences changes which are triggered by the absence and decreased amount of sunlight. For example serotonin, a chemical which affects the mood, decreases when there isn’t much sunlight. Melatonin, which affects mood as well as sleep patterns also goes down during the said season. A decrease in the levels of both can somehow affect a person’s mood and thoughts, although not usually for the better.   How does it affect people? Like in most cases of depression Seasonal Affective Disorder can greatly affect the individual’s ability to be happy. People suffering from SAD manifest behaviours such as those experienced by people who suffer from depression in general. They show signs of unexplained sadness, irritability and exhaustion. Seasonal Affective Disorder can also have negative effects on the way they perform and their behaviour in the workplace or at school. Signs of social withdrawal and decreased social activities are also observed. In its most dire stages, people suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder can resort to […]