Lifestyle Management and Chasing the Dream

Lifestyle Management and Chasing the Dream   Chasing after your dreams is often easier said than done, especially for the majority of people. It’s easy to have a dream or a goal in life – but grabbing it and making it happen, now that’s a different story. Why is this so? Well, the reasons are varied, and two of the most common are detailed below.   Self-comparison Kills Your Dreams It may sound a bit overrated, but it is true – comparing yourself to other people can greatly harm your chances of achieving your dreams and aspirations. For one, when you compare yourself to a more successful person, you end up feeling sorry for yourself, and start to wallow in self-pity. In such a case, you spend time worrying about what you are doing wrong or what qualities and values you lack. You spend so much time worrying that you aren’t getting any actual work done – and thus be one step closer to your dreams.   By comparing yourself to other people, you are blinded by your weaknesses and forget to see and appreciate your strengths. You see yourself as incapable and forget about or ignore your past accomplishments.   Self-comparison, when done right, can be a powerful source of motivation, but otherwise, it can be incapacitating.   Going for the Wrong Dreams We all dream of different things. From big houses and flashy cars through to successful careers and businesses. The dream of being financially free applies to many people. By focusing on the material objects, we end up being materialistic and make it difficult on ourselves to achieve these dreams.   When we set our goals and dreams into these material things, […]

Rescuer Mentality

  One of the things that we learn in childhood is to be always helpful to others. This can be at home by helping with chores and taking care of our siblings through to sharing our toys and possessions with others.   Even as we grow older we are encouraged to continue with this behaviour by considering the needs of others. However when does becoming the life-saver or rescuer become too much?   The Dangers of Being a Hero Some people take it upon themselves to become the person that is always there for others. At first glance there seems to be nothing wrong with this, however there are instances when the individual assumes the rescuer mentality and fails to let it go. This then results in numerous problems for that individual.   Firstly they learn how to thrive through the approval of other people. These ‘heroes’ are people who often have low self-confidence and believe what they have to offer isn’t good enough for others. This then leads them to thinking that doing something heroic is the only way that they can be accepted by the person they are helping or by the society as a whole.   In addition to the above, ‘heroes’ can often develop the idea that the one they are saving is a weak person and that person is unable thrive without their help. This can lead to the assumption that they will always be needed and when the bubble bursts, it leaves the ‘hero’ feeling very lost and confused.   Burnout is common in ‘heroes’ as their role becomes a chore. They begin investing their time, money and effort into doing the right thing. As a result they end […]

By |Tuesday, July 15, 2014|Anxiety, General| Comments

Disease to Please – Trying to make everybody happy

The majority of us highly value our connections with the people around us, such as family, friends, colleagues, superiors and even new acquaintances. In order to maintain those connections, we often feel the need to please them, as if their happiness depended on us and our actions.   There is nothing wrong with the idea of making everyone we know happy, aside from the fact it’s impossible and unrealistic! Unfortunately some people take this too far and develop people pleasing habits which can become a gripping disease that begins to take over lives.   What is the Disease to Please? Simply put, the disease to please makes us want to please all the people around us. It is driven by a need of approval – mistakenly thinking that the only way we can make others happy is by giving into their whims, requests and demands. It starts off with a sincere wish to be nice and helpful to others, developing into a habit of saying ‘yes’ even though we want to say ‘no’.   It may seem like a simple enough problem to deal with but that is not always the case. In our quest to give joy to others, we end up neglecting ourselves holding onto approvals and validation. However what happens when the string of approvals we value, disappear?   The Dangers of Being a People-Pleaser The disease to please is one that affects us an entire person – from our emotional, mental, and even physical well-being.   When we aim to please someone we are willing to sacrifice all we have in exchange for a nod and a smile of approval. We put others first before ourselves which is not healthy long […]

By |Thursday, June 26, 2014|Anxiety, General, Happiness| Comments

Why good people do bad things

In the age old story of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, the doctor drinks a potion which turns him into a monster. In real-life though this ‘potion’ does not exist, nor do we need it in order to commit unethical behaviour.   The Voice Within In certain scenarios, we are told to follow our gut instinct, listen to our inner voice and go with our beliefs, but what if our inner voice tells us to do something unacceptable? There are people who suffer such an experience and in some instances they could be suffering from multiple personality disorder which can be frightening.   It is known that many people have an inner voice and they can be both good or bad depending on what they’re telling us to do. Sometimes they critic us and our behaviour by telling us we’re not good enough, we’re too fat, we’re not smart enough etc. In other cases our inner voice does not only critic us but also tells us to do bad things. This could be a small misdemeanours like eating that second slice of cake through to bigger and unacceptable actions such as illegal activity, crime and socially unacceptable behaviour.   Turning the Negative Inner Voice Off There are cases when our negative inner voice tells or forces us to do bad things – things which we wouldn’t normally or otherwise do. In moments of weakness our inner voice wins and we just find ourselves doing those bad things, as if we have no control over our actions. A good example of this is an alcoholic in recovery. They know it’s wrong for them to drink, but some can fall of the band wagon a few times […]

Online Counselling Services in Australia

Process and Benefits When the internet first came along it brought along radical changes which made the traditional practices of many fields and industries adopt new processes. These days courses can be completed online instead of the traditional classroom, shopping can be done without leaving your home and even booking a doctor’s appointment can be scheduled online.   If this is now the case then why not apply this ‘online service’ method to the age old practice of counselling services?   Online counselling services here in Australia, is not at all new, having been in practice for more or less a decade now. The concept of counselling remains the same with the only changes being the mode of communication and how to effectively use the internet for online counselling.   There are three main methods of online counselling in Australia:   Emails – where the patient and counsellor correspond with each other by sending and receiving emails to address a specific area/issue.   Instant Messaging – where the patient and the counsellor can talk to each other through instant messaging software such as Skype.   Video Conferencing – where the patient and counsellor can engage in voice communication through video conversations and provide face-to-face interaction between the two parties.   The process is the same and the results still are achieved through working together closely. However by using online counselling services, it makes it easier for everyone to commit and removes the hassle of physically attending a session.   Why Online Counselling? Online counselling is a growing practice in Australia because it offers many benefits which distinguish from the traditional mode of counselling.   Convenient – Online counselling gives the patient access to counselling services […]