Communication

How to deal with narcissism

Whether it’s a co-worker, friend and family member, almost everyone knows someone with a narcissistic personality. Those with a narcissistic personality have an elevated sense of self-importance. They have a sense that they are in charge (at work and home), believe their ‘uniqueness’ can only be understood by a select few, and can require excessive admiration.   For those who work or live with the narcissist, life can become so complicated; you wish the narcissist would just “quit it”. Unfortunately, that’s not an option. As hard as it is to hear, narcissism is something to be dealt with – not necessarily something that can be overcome.   The good news is armed with the right strategies; you can learn to co-exist with the narcissist(s) in your life.   Lower Your Expectations – As you’ll never receive total emotional nurturing in a narcissistic relationship, ensure you keep your expectations realistic. When you’re with them, try to magnify their good qualities, while understanding they are somewhat emotionally limited. Accepting this truth will help you stop asking for something your family member, spouse or co-worker is unable to give (e.g. unconditional love, emotional support, etc.).   Strategise Your Needs – Due to a lack of empathy, narcissists have a lot of troubles focusing on the needs of others – even loved ones. So, ensure you don’t bother them with every little issue that crops up. When you need them to do something for you, ask for their help. To achieve a good result, ask for assistance in areas they are interested or gifted in.   Never Make Your Self-Worth Dependent on Them – Whatever you do, don’t get caught in the trap of trying to please a narcissist. […]

Treating Anxiety

Are you mentally and physically exhausted, consumed with worry to the point that it interferes with every aspect of your life? If so, you are suffering some form of anxiety. When you are caught in the vice-like grip of anxiety, it can be nearly impossible to imagine ever being free. Fortunately, however, anxiety can be effectively treated. For the vast majority of patients, their quality of life improves dramatically. Read on for treatment options for various forms of anxiety.   Treating Generalised Anxiety – There is a plethora of ways to treat Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD); so choose one (or a combination) which suits you.   Changing thought patterns – When you worry, you engage in negative self-talk about trying circumstances. While you may think worrying is preparing you to face the worst-case scenario, more often than not, it is unproductive. Once you give up the idea that worrying is helpful, you can challenge these irrational fears and learn to accept that life has uncertainties.   Connect with others – GAD often leaves you feeling powerless and alone. However, the more connected you are, the less vulnerable you’ll feel. Building a strong support system will dramatically improve your physical and emotional health while providing confidence that someone will always be there for you.   Self-management techniques like these are sufficient for most GAD sufferers. However, if you still feel overburdened, seek professional help.   Treating Hereditary Anxiety – According to common belief, hereditary traits and problems are hardwired and therefore, can’t be fixed. Fortunately, this is not the case for hereditary anxiety. Traditional anxiety treatments, such as medication, cognitive behavioural therapy and self-care techniques are just as effective in treating hereditary anxiety.   Treating Organic […]

By |Wednesday, August 12, 2015|Anxiety, General, Wellness| Comments

Anger Management

Anger is an intense emotional response experienced when personal boundaries are violated. Renowned anger management writer William DeFoore describes anger as a “pressure cooker” which pressure can only be applied against briefly before it explodes. The most common manifestation of anger is in facial expressions and body language however it also has behavioural and cognitive components. However, these behaviours are entirely under an individual’s control. By applying the following tips, you will learn how to manage your anger, so the situation does not escalate.   Think before you speak: Although it is easy to say and much harder to do, this is one of the best ways to avoid a meltdown. During an argument, we often say things we do not mean and later regret. By thinking before you speak, you can articulate your feelings more effectively and often get the required results.   Once calm, express your feelings: When you’re thinking clearly, express your needs and frustration in a productive and assertive way. Explain your concerns to the other party without hurting their feelings or trying to manipulate them. Expressing your feelings promotes open discussion, allowing all involved to have their feelings heard.   Take a timeout: Timeouts can be just as useful for adults as kids. Taking short breaks during stressful times of day will keep you calm and focused. A few moments of quiet reflection will help organise your thoughts, ensuring you are less likely to feel angry or frustrated.   Identify possible solutions: Rather than concentrating on what made you upset, try to solve the issue at hand. In other words, by locating and dealing with the source of the problem, it will no longer be a source of angst for […]

By |Tuesday, March 24, 2015|General| Comments

How to Manage Anxiety

Anxiety – that unwelcome intruder which leaves unmerited fear, racing hearts and minds and utter confusion in its wake. Whether we’re nervous about a big presentation or a first date, we all face anxiety from time to time.   Anxiety is an individualised feeling, with no two people experiencing it the same way. However, there are several commonalities that distinguish it from other disorders. Prominent features include ongoing worry, obstructive thoughts, confusion, sweating, nausea and restlessness, among others.   Sometimes it can be a good thing. Anxiety usually forces us to assess a situation and formulate an appropriate response. Problems arise when anxiety becomes a ‘default setting’ which impacts on your everyday life. The techniques below can help you self-manage anxiety, so it does not overtake your life.   IDENTIFY TRIGGER FACTORS The first step to anxiety management is identifying situations that make you anxious. The best way, to do this, is keeping a journal of symptoms and what is happening around you when anxiety occurs. Keeping a record of why and how your anxiety occurs will help you manage this situation better in the future.   PROBLEM SOLVING Once you have identified the specific situation(s) causing your anxiety, structured problem-solving can help resolve anxiety by addressing the underlying problem. Follow these steps to get to the root of the problem:   Identify the problem Formulate as many options as possible to solve it Select your preferred option Develop a plan to test the viability of that option If this option doesn’t solve the problem, try others   RELAXATION TECHNIQUES People in a constant state of anxiety claim they have trouble relaxing. Relaxation promotes a physical and mental feeling of calm. Learning and practising a […]

Listening To Your Gut Instincts

Making a decision, any kind of important decision, can sometimes be a long, difficult process. With this is mind, have you ever stopped and analysed how you arrive at a decision? What was the deciding factor? Did you listen to intellectual reason? Did you decide based on you emotionally thought to be right? Or, did you just have a hunch, an intuition, about what to do? Maybe it was a combination of all three?   Whatever the outcome, these are the three ways (or ‘voices’) in which our consciousness makes decisions;   Head (intellectually) Heart (emotionally) Gut (instinctively)   Obviously, how you react determines the outcome, so how do you know which ‘voice’ to follow? I guess it very much depends on the question.   Head Now there are some decisions which are quite obviously ruled by the head. Example, if you are trying to lose weight and eat healthy, and at lunch you have the decision between a salad and a burger. You may emotionally crave the burger, but you know that you should have the salad. This is based on the fact that a salad is healthier than a burger, but a burger is tastier than a salad. Following your heart instead of your head will lead to a bad decision. Listening to you head, involves rationality, reason and intelligence. People who follow their head, and disregard their heart and gut feelings, are often perceived as cold, calculating or analytical. You might even argue that ‘head’ people can be superficially and not as good at relating emotionally.   Heart You might be one of those people, or at least know someone, who repeatedly goes for the wrong guy/ girl. They know that this […]