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How to nurture your relationships

No one said love was easy. In fact, there are times when, with the greatest will in the world, you just can’t make it right. Ask any old-aged couple what their secret is and they are likely to say ‘compromise’, or ‘give and take’. In any happy, successful relationship there has to be a balance. Both people have to put in enough and receive enough in return in terms of emotional balance.   A healthy relationship is a partnership, a nurturing partnership. Sometimes this comes naturally. Some people just ‘click’ and it seemingly works. However don’t be fooled by appearances, all relationships take hard work. So, what can you do to help your relationship achieve balance? Can you do anything? It’s tempting to write that something along the lines of, ‘If you have to ask; there’s no point.’ However, surely wanting your relationship to be better, to improve yourself, and to grow as a couple is a positive emotion. There are going to be days when it’s not all plain sailing, and arguments are an inevitable part of life.   Let’s look at 5 ideas to help achieve the ‘golden’ state of balance.   Healthy conflict. Sounds like a contradiction in terms! When you clash, if you can sort out your problems without tantrums and sniping, it will make for a healthier, more intimate relationship. Private life and Public life. Do not air your dirty laundry in public. Keep issues that are private behind closed doors, and never throw something back when it was told in confidence. Never talk insultingly about your partner to anyone else. Needs. You can’t rely on your partner to fulfil all your needs this will make you needy. Be strong […]

By |Monday, December 15, 2014|Uncategorised| Comments

Why too much of a good thing is bad for you.

Have you heard the expression too much of a good thing can be bad for you? How is this possible? With Christmas fast approaching, the topic of overindulgence comes up often.   The Christmas season is notorious for having too many ‘good things’ or at least the things we like! The festive celebration is a time when you make merry with your friends and family, but it is safe to say, it is not a time when we make the best choices for our health.   Our will power is lowered against the temptations of food, drink, and in some cases drugs. The devilish phrase ‘Go on; it’s Christmas!’ is like a pass against temperance and an excuse to be a glutton. We don’t want to sound like Scrooge and tell you to cut out everything that is a part of making Christmas fun, but, let’s consider balance and moderation.   Drinking and Drug Abuse Some of you reading this will think, ‘What’s a party without a drink?’. In addition with the usual wine and beer comes the morning champagne and after dinner tipples. Sherry, Egg Nog, Crème de Menthe, Baileys. Everything comes out of the cupboard.   In addition, there are work Christmas parties, family get-togethers, friends nights out, gathering with neighbours… It can get a little too much especially for those who have suffered from alcohol abuse in the past.   With the party atmosphere in swing, the use of illegal party drugs like cocaine, ecstasy and ice also increase. People feel a sense of freedom at the end of the year – free from work and free from restraint. They want to let go and enjoy themselves. However, let’s consider the side-effects […]

By |Thursday, November 27, 2014|Uncategorised| Comments

Understanding and Dealing with Social Anxiety

Social Anxiety: What Is It? In its broadest sense, social anxiety is a psychological disorder which plagues millions of people around the world. It is often categorised along the lines of other psychological problems, such as depression.   As the name suggests, this disorder is experienced during various social encounters. For instance, a person who feels anxious whenever they need to speak or perform in a crowd may be experiencing social anxiety. Another is when a person feels irrationally anxious whenever they mingle with other people, like being introduced to new people or joining social encounters. Now, some may dismiss these things as normal reactions when you put nervousness into consideration. However, there is a need to go deeper into what social anxiety is, in order to differentiate from other normal anxiety problems.   Going Deeper Not all anxiousness are negative. In fact, anxiety is good as it can help prepare us for any danger that may be present. For instance, anxiety helps to raise your heartbeat and adrenaline, which are important whenever you are put in a fight-or-flight situation.   In social anxiety, your anxiousness can be driven by irrational fears and thoughts. For instance, it is normal to feel nervous when asked to sing in front of an audience if you’re not used to it. However, when you still feel nervous while being watched as you work, thinking that you are being judged and scrutinised, then that is where irrational anxiety steps in. In addition, if you exhibit unusual physical symptoms when in simple situations such as meeting a new person, then this can be linked to social anxiety. These physical symptoms can include excessive sweating, stuttering, uncontrollable trembling or twitching of facial […]

By |Friday, November 14, 2014|Uncategorised| Comments

Know Who You Are to Know What You Want

“Who ARE you, really?” Sounds like a simple question, doesn’t it? It’s surprising to know that a huge majority of people out there find it very difficult to answer this simple question. Not on the surface level, but rather in a deeper sense. Finding yourself and your identity amidst all the noise around you can be both challenging and scary. You may have thought that you already know yourself very well, only to find out that you don’t. You may not even have tried, out of fear of discovering your many flaws and imperfections which make you think of yourself as “lacking.” Overcoming those challenges and fears is the only way for you to understand your being and your existence truly. A good start is by looking at your past. After all, your past is usually what determines who you are today. Look back at both the good and bad– cherish the former, and accept the latter. Yes, acceptance. The mistakes we made in the past plays a huge role in our present and have more impact on our lives than we can imagine. By accepting these, we gain a better understanding of who we were, which can be helpful stepping stones towards understanding who we are and who we can be. Realise your mistakes, learn from them and move on. Keep in mind though that our yesterdays’ only form a part of our lives, because we still have today and tomorrow. Begin by taking time to think about who you are right now. Be aware of what you can and can’t do, what you are and aren’t capable of. Know your strengths and weaknesses. Work hard to improve what is good, and work harder […]

By |Wednesday, November 5, 2014|Uncategorised| Comments

Painful Experiences – What to Expect

           A person’s ability to adjust to life after loss is widely considered a fundamental part of normal human development. When you are faced with life changing circumstances, such as the sudden death of a loved one or the dissolution of a significant relationship, it is a rather difficult milestone to reach.   In the midst of situations like these, it can appear impossible to regain any sense of normality. During this difficult time, it is important to remember that grief is a personal journey and not a set of steps to master.   According to conventional wisdom, your journey through the grieving process is supposed to mirror the ‘Five Stages of Grief’ theory which was popularised by renowned psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross in 1969. The five stages of grief are: Denial Anger Bargaining Depression Acceptance   The theory is a general guide, so it’s important to remember that the grief experience is entirely unique to the individual and doesn’t follow a set pattern. Your experience and recovery period will vary widely from anyone else’s. Try not to concern yourself with how you are expected to feel, rather, move forward at your own pace.   There is no right or wrong way to experience grief. Therefore, you may go through the steps outlined above in a sequential fashion, a different order, or not at all. The way in which you experience and express grief depends largely upon your personality, life experiences, faith and the nature of your loss. Healing from loss is a gradual, often painstaking process, so whatever your experience, be patient and allow the healing process to take its course. Unlike every day stress that you face weekly e.g. becoming stuck in a traffic […]

By |Thursday, August 21, 2014|Uncategorised| Comments