General

Repressed Memory

Repression is a concept that is regularly argued within the psychology world. Whilst most psychologists believe this condition exists, the scientists have other thoughts.   The concept around repressed memory is that something shocking happens, and the mind pushes it into your unconscious as a way of coping. It can remain there for years or even decades and one day the memory can emerge into consciousness and be triggered by various elements or situations.   Commonly repression can happen when childhood trauma occurs such as sexual abuse that allegedly has been repressed for decades, until recovered in therapy. Following the discovery of repressed memory, can come Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.   As adults, we would rather forget traumatic experiences, and whilst we can forget the small details, we still retain the emotions that come with those types of experiences. As a child though, it’s natural to store fragmented memories of events. Many psychotherapists also believe that a high level of all psychological disorders is due to repressed memories of childhood events, trauma and abuse.   Repressed memory is also commonly known as Memory Blanks. People can experience memory blanks of a year or several years during childhood. Now before we jump to conclusions, just because someone doesn’t remember every single detail about their childhood, this doesn’t necessarily mean they are experiencing memory blanks or repression. However, if you are also experiencing problem relationships, sexual dysfunction, panic attacks, phobias, suicide attempts or other issues around self-worth then it’s probably worth having a chat with someone.   Your memory is a funny instrument and works differently to organs that are physical such as the brain. A persons memory has been described in the past as a filing […]

Rescuer Mentality

  One of the things that we learn in childhood is to be always helpful to others. This can be at home by helping with chores and taking care of our siblings through to sharing our toys and possessions with others.   Even as we grow older we are encouraged to continue with this behaviour by considering the needs of others. However when does becoming the life-saver or rescuer become too much?   The Dangers of Being a Hero Some people take it upon themselves to become the person that is always there for others. At first glance there seems to be nothing wrong with this, however there are instances when the individual assumes the rescuer mentality and fails to let it go. This then results in numerous problems for that individual.   Firstly they learn how to thrive through the approval of other people. These ‘heroes’ are people who often have low self-confidence and believe what they have to offer isn’t good enough for others. This then leads them to thinking that doing something heroic is the only way that they can be accepted by the person they are helping or by the society as a whole.   In addition to the above, ‘heroes’ can often develop the idea that the one they are saving is a weak person and that person is unable thrive without their help. This can lead to the assumption that they will always be needed and when the bubble bursts, it leaves the ‘hero’ feeling very lost and confused.   Burnout is common in ‘heroes’ as their role becomes a chore. They begin investing their time, money and effort into doing the right thing. As a result they end […]

By |Tuesday, July 15, 2014|Anxiety, General| Comments

Disease to Please – Trying to make everybody happy

The majority of us highly value our connections with the people around us, such as family, friends, colleagues, superiors and even new acquaintances. In order to maintain those connections, we often feel the need to please them, as if their happiness depended on us and our actions.   There is nothing wrong with the idea of making everyone we know happy, aside from the fact it’s impossible and unrealistic! Unfortunately some people take this too far and develop people pleasing habits which can become a gripping disease that begins to take over lives.   What is the Disease to Please? Simply put, the disease to please makes us want to please all the people around us. It is driven by a need of approval – mistakenly thinking that the only way we can make others happy is by giving into their whims, requests and demands. It starts off with a sincere wish to be nice and helpful to others, developing into a habit of saying ‘yes’ even though we want to say ‘no’.   It may seem like a simple enough problem to deal with but that is not always the case. In our quest to give joy to others, we end up neglecting ourselves holding onto approvals and validation. However what happens when the string of approvals we value, disappear?   The Dangers of Being a People-Pleaser The disease to please is one that affects us an entire person – from our emotional, mental, and even physical well-being.   When we aim to please someone we are willing to sacrifice all we have in exchange for a nod and a smile of approval. We put others first before ourselves which is not healthy long […]

By |Thursday, June 26, 2014|Anxiety, General, Happiness| Comments

Seasonal Affective Disorder and the Effects

What is Seasonal Affective Disorder? Mood disorders can arise in various forms, and one of these forms is Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). What distinguishes SAD from other similar disorders is that SAD occurs around the same time every year. In general, this disorder usually occurs in the early days of autumn and lasts until the late days of winter which are usually the bleakest and coldest months of the year, which is where the name comes from.   What causes SAD? Despite countless studies, the major reason as to why people experience SAD is still undecided. However various doctors and researchers lean towards the idea that SAD is caused by factors relating to light. During the autumn and winter season, the body experiences changes which are triggered by the absence and decreased amount of sunlight. For example serotonin, a chemical which affects the mood, decreases when there isn’t much sunlight. Melatonin, which affects mood as well as sleep patterns also goes down during the said season. A decrease in the levels of both can somehow affect a person’s mood and thoughts, although not usually for the better.   How does it affect people? Like in most cases of depression Seasonal Affective Disorder can greatly affect the individual’s ability to be happy. People suffering from SAD manifest behaviours such as those experienced by people who suffer from depression in general. They show signs of unexplained sadness, irritability and exhaustion. Seasonal Affective Disorder can also have negative effects on the way they perform and their behaviour in the workplace or at school. Signs of social withdrawal and decreased social activities are also observed. In its most dire stages, people suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder can resort to […]

Reasons for Low Motivation

Motivation is a strong and powerful driving force behind most (if not all) of our actions. When we are motivated, we are able to contribute more to our lives, work and relationships and can organise and accomplish more of our tasks and responsibilities efficiently.   It goes without saying that having low motivation can affect our performance and results in a negative way. Sure, you may still be able to get some work done or tick off those tasks on your to-do list, but deep down you know that the results would’ve been better if you hadn’t had done it half-heartedly.   There are many reasons why people suddenly lose their motivation to work or perform an activity and two of the most common ones are lack of energy and sickness.   Lack of Energy and Sickness We all know how difficult it can be to get out of bed and head to work or carry out daily tasks when we feel sick. Feeling weak under such conditions is pretty normal, even if it is just a simple case of cold or cough.   When we are sick, our body feels exhausted and drained, and this is because our body is using all of its energies in fighting off the infection that is causing the illness. That is why even if you want to get out of bed, your body tries to resist. There are people who say that it is a matter of mind over body, but that is not always the case. It can be hard to focus and concentrate on an activity when you’re constantly thinking about your aching head and body.   Improving Your Health and Energy Levels Some people are […]